Jesus Said We Must “Hate” Our Own Families – What Did He Mean?


A lot of confusion. A lot of misunderstanding. A lot of feeble, weak professed Christians out there either get into debates going nowhere but to distraction and further misinformation, or they then begin to say or think, “I’ll believe this in the Bible, but not that!” There are no contradictions in the Holy Bible anywhere.

Everything within the Scriptures must be approached from a spiritual beginning. A spiritual, prayerful point of view. Asking for discernment, wisdom and understanding — beyond our own comprehension, beyond that of a friend, a relative, someone at work. Someone on Facebook telling us what this or that means. The Word of God will always tell us what the Word of God means. In time. In prayer. In study. In meditation upon it.

The Greek word in the New Testament is μισέωmiseo = hate.

And it does mean hate. To detest. To despise.

That does not mean we are to hate our mothers, fathers, sons or daughters with the modern-day, Western, English mindset, or understanidng of hate. A much overused word. A word rife with emotion but misunderstood as to real impact and usage. Especially as used in Scripture. As used by Jesus.

Let’s leave and set aside the modern-day thinking. The pure emotion from the word. Remove it. Peel it all away and off. You can do it if you really try. No preconceived notions, no presumptions.

You are a father, a mother, a son, a daughter.

You also profess to be a disciple of Christ. If you say “I’m a Christian!” you’d better mean it, know what that means, take up your cross as Jesus did, make the sacrifices because no matter what we sacrifice? No matter the trials, test, suffering before us? It can’t come close to what Jesus sacrificed for us.

Mr. Bryan Fischer in the article below gives a few good examples. What it boils down to is do we put the wants, desires, beliefs of our mother, our father, our son or daughter first —- when their beliefs, their desires, their wants are counter to the Word of God? Or do we stand firm and true in the faith? Knowing all here is temporary. What we think is so important, even it might appear the most important thing! (See some examples below) but in reality? The largest matter to us in this life? Is nothing compared to eternity. And do we obey the Lord and His Word and make Him our priority? Or do we weaken and submit to our mother, our father, our son or daughter putting us in a position to do something against the Word of God? To compromise us. Injuring ourselves, wreaking ourselves spiritually.

Do we make our families our god?

Or do we make God and Jesus our God?

I personally know folks who profess with their lips to be a “Christian,” yet they have made their husband, their wife their true god. Putting their worldly, or unbelieving ways of that husband or wife first and above those of Jesus and His words to us as Teacher, High Priest, Prophet, King and Lord and we as His disciple.

What it does mean we are to place Jesus above all? Everything? Everyone? And if a person we know, are related to, our own mother, our own father, our own daughter or son is our priority above Jesus, and their demands, their wishes, their desires are opposed to the Word of God? We are falling short. Not getting it. Not living up to that which we ought to. We are weak in the faith and sinning. no bones about it. No pussyfootin’ around it!

Because what Luke 14:26 is saying is just that.

As is Matthew 10:37.

Please take the time to read slowly through the following. Removing presumptions and modern-day influenced cultural emotions.

No matter the translations the same message is made;

“Whoever comes to me and does not hate his father and his mother and his brothers and his sisters and his wife and his children and even himself, he cannot be my disciple.”

Luke 14:26 — Aramaic Bible in Plain English

If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.

Luke 14:26 — King James Version

“If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.

Luke 14:26 — English Standard Version

“If people come to me and are not ready to abandon their fathers, mothers, wives, children, brothers, and sisters, as well as their own lives, they cannot be my disciples.

Luke 14:26 — GOD’S WORD Translation

Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me.

Matthew 10:37 — English Standard Version


Think of it exactly as this…

Jesus Calls the First Disciples

While walking by the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon (who is called Peter) and Andrew his brother, casting a net into the sea, for they were fishermen. And he said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” Immediately they left their nets and followed him. And going on from there he saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee and John his brother, in the boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets, and he called them. Immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him.

Matthew 4:18-22 — English Standard Version




It’s to be like that.

As a disciple.

Placing Jesus first. Always.

Know the goal? What to work towards? A true Christian, Bible-founded, Bible-solid, Bible-believing family. Then no one will have to make the decision “Do I appease and cave in and please__________ or do I do what the Bible says and follow Jesus, making Jesus my priority because it matters to my eternity, plus I must live what I believe and live and lead by example.”

That goal, that ideal of everyone in the family is a faithful Bible believing, Bible-living true disciple of Jesus isn’t how it is in most families. So we must each — no matter if father, mother, son or daughter — if a true disciple of Jesus Christ? And He truly is Lord of our lives? We put Him, His word, His teachings first in our lives. To be an example to those in our family who either do not believe, are not genuine disciples of Jesus, or they are weak, living to please the world, nominal Christians. What have you. We need to especially do this if a member of our family is a heathen. A pagan. A blatant non-believer. Even though such reality causes pain within our hearts and souls dear ones!

Be the rock in the family. Be the example. Be the light and the salt.

Place God, Jesus and Their word above all. Prayerfully. Hating the worldly influences brought into the family while showing true Christian love for that, or those hated for their deeds, actions within the family causing divisions, strife and all things the devil loves and dances with glee when he can throw a wrench into the works of the family.

Pray for wisdom. Discernment. Strength. Increased faithfulness.

We are to hate sin. And if sin is present in our father? Our mother? Our son or daughter? We are to hate it. And live the Word by example to them.


Ken Pullen

ACP — A Crooked Path

Friday, October 4th, 2019


Jesus Said We Must “Hate” Our Own Families — What Did He Mean?



Thursday, October 3, 2019

By Bryan Fischer

Reprinted from: American Family Association



 If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sister, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple (Luke 14:26).

This is one of the “hard sayings” of Jesus. It is jarring, stunning, and counter-intuitive. How could Jesus tell us to do anything but love the members of our own family?

It’s worth noting that, in Hebrew and Greek, the word translated “hate” does not intrinsically include an emotional component of vitriolic dislike as it does in English. Stripped to its essence, it means to “reject.” it’s a choice word, not an emotion word. When God says, “Jacob I have loved and Esau I have hated,” he’s simply saying he was choosing Jacob to be his primary heir. We can choose one thing and reject another without anger or venom being at the root of the decision.

What Jesus is saying here, in his own arresting way, is that we cannot truly become his disciples without being prepared to do things that are so difficult for our families and friends to understand that they interpret our decisions and actions as “hate” or rejection. If we make these choices based on the standards of the Word rather than the world, we will be accused of hatred. You can make bank on that.

A father may have to deny permission to his teenage daughter to attend a particular party because of the kind of party it is even though all of her friends are going. She may even nurture a seething bitterness in her soul towards him since he is denying her something all of the fathers of her friends think is perfectly okay.

A father may have to communicate to his homosexual son that he cannot approve of his lifestyle and cannot in good conscience attend his homosexual “wedding.” He will be condemned viciously as a hater, by his son’s friends and maybe even by members of his own family even though he would lay down his life without hesitation for that same son.

A father may love his daughter more than he loves his own life, but his conscience may not permit him to give her away to a non-Christian husband. It might kill him to make that choice. It may break his own heart to give up his lifetime dream of walking her proudly down the aisle. But he will be angrily and viciously condemned by others as mean-spirited, legalistic, and judgmental even though his decision springs from his loyalty to Christ and his Word.

The list of possible circumstances in which a Christ-follower may have to do what Christ wants rather than what his own family wants are endless. It might be a career choice or a work decision he must make. It may be a public stand he feels compelled to take even though it exposes him to open and public ridicule. It may be a ministry decision that will be angrily opposed.

In truth, his stand may represent truth and not hate at all, but it will not be seen that way. Jesus said at one point, “I have not come to bring peace but a sword … A man’s enemies will be those of his own household” (Matthew 10:34, 36).

Will there be times when we must choose Christ over family? Yes. Will these choices be agonizing? Yes. Will we feel like a part of us is dying? Yes. Must we make them anyway? Yes.