The Worthlessness of Self-Reformation;
“When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he walketh through dry places, seeking rest, and findeth none.
Then he saith, I will return into my house from whence I came out; and when he is come, he findeth it empty, swept, and garnished.
Then goeth he, and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter in and dwell there: and the last state of that man is worse than the first. Even so shall it be also unto this wicked generation.”
Jesus Christ the Lord speaking to the multitudes and the Pharisees at the sea of Tiberias ~ Matthew 12:43-45
Don’t you ever sleep?
Dear Lydia,
HA! I will take your comment as genuine concern for my health and well-being. Yes, I sleep. I probably average about 4 to 5 hours in a 24 hour period. I realize it is advised by every health care practitioner to get at least 7 to 8, but I can’t sleep that long. My body, though older and full of infirmities bounds awake and my mind is going after about 4, 5 hours maximum. And I seem to do okay with that. I turn to and put all my trust and faith in the Lord’s hands. I turn to and believe He cares for me in every way since He knows and takes care of every sparrow on this earth. And I mean more to Him than a sparrow. And His Word tells me that.
So I am taking your comment as one of sincere concern for my health, and not that there is too much content added to “A Crooked Path” on a regular basis.
Evil never sleeps.
God’s children, those in the army of the salvation of the Lord ought to certainly get the rest they need…but not sleep too much nor think their slumbers are more important than the work at hand.
I used to write secular poetry. Odd little things. Product of the 1960s.
Thoughts which entered my head more than traditional poetry.
And back many years as I was living with a woman who complained about all the books I owned I wrote this;
RELATIONSHIP Item No. 3
She complains of having to dust all the books on the shelves
I imagine
her wails
if
she ever bothered to open one once
and begin to actually spend time reading them…
That is like life. In so many ways.
People question many things and wonder why and cant fathom them, or mock them, or don’t understand them and along the way each and every day people are actually putting time in.
Either for good, for righteousness sake.
Or working for evil.
I’m always physically tired. Always. Just as I always have physical pain, chronic pain.
I can’t focus on those things which are part of me and aren’t going away. They are related and connected and a part of me. One resulting from the existence of the other.
But that isn’t what really matters.
What really matters is the spiritual condition of my heart, my spirit, my soul, my mind.
And what I do for the Lord who loved us all so much He came to earth as a man and endured all He did. Being mocked, abandoned by every person – even His own disciples, living without anything of material comfort, spit upon, whipped, beaten, reviled, hated, having crucifixion nails hammered into his body, being pierced and bleeding out the blood of atonement…
and most of all?
While Jesus Christ the Lord was perfect, without sin, and blameless when He was on the cross as the Sacrificial Lamb of God He took on the sin of every person. All the sin of EVERY PERSON. Then, throughout history, NOW, and however many are yet to come!
In the time He took on all the sin of every person and He became sin and washed those sins in His atoning blood so we could have life and salvation through His grace? Imagine THAT PAIN? As He was abandoned for that period of time on the cross by the Father, who has no part at all in evil or sin.
Imagine that? To REALLY ponder that ought to literally stagger people and keep them in their place from being able to walk as they truly take the full meaning of that into their hearts and minds.
And I’m going to whine and focus on being tired?
And that my body hurts?
Oy vey! I don’t think so.
Hope you continue to come and visit and spend time at “A Crooked Path” and leave comments any time on any post.
And “A Crooked Path” is not all I do. One must stay awake, prepared, observant, and truly alive as long as the good Lord measures and blesses us with time as human beings should we not? Maybe I’ll take a 30 minute nap now…?
Not!
Thank you.
Sincerely,
Ken
Hi Ken
I am concerned, I don’t like to hear anyone being in chronic pain. I get that. I have had a total knee replacement inJune of last yr. and understand extreme pain. 2011 I had the other one replaced. I don’t. Dwell on things like that but it does change your perspective in life.
It’s an interesting blog, I don’t agree with it all, but I am glad you found peace in your heart and life, that is always a good thing and important above all.
My views are a bit more broad minded, my experiences in life greatly differ from yours that’s ok.
I truly wish you good things.
Sincerely
Lydia
Dear Lydia,
I thank you for your kind words, frankness, and honesty. I understand a person not being in 100% agreement with what is posted on “A Crooked Path.” We all do have different experiences but there really are only two paths for all the people of this world to take. It isn’t nearly as complicated as people make it.
I have lived on both coasts. I lived in Southern California for almost 8 years. I’ve lived in Oregon. Vermont. And other places. Been a lot of places. Known a lot of people. Done a lot of things in 61 years of life. Been among the most radical of people in this nation. I worked on my high school newspaper and never got anything I wrote published because everything I wrote was deemed far to radical and incendiary and this was in the 1960s so suffice to say I was extreme in my views. I’ve had more jobs than you could possibly imagine. Not a point of boasting just that means I’ve been in many situations and gotten to know literally thousands of people.
I spent years where I smoked marijuana like cigarette smokers smoke cigarettes. I would buy pounds for personal use. I lived in extreme sin. Everything was for selfish pleasure. I had numerous relationships with various women. I drank to excess for many years. I was irresponsible. Living for the day, living for myself. I was the guy people liked coming to their parties because I made them more fun and interesting and could party endlessly and stay up until the sun came up and keep partying into the day.
Been married and divorced. Had a lot of emotional and mental pain in my life. I could write a book but don’t think it needs to be opened up and mentioned to that extent. Physical abuse when younger. Been through a lot. A whole lot.
I’m not proud of any of that. Just saying I wasn’t born a saint nor did I live as one. I was a selfish rebel. And a massive sinner. And have not only done a lot but have had a lot done to me because in great part of how I was and what my attitudes were.
My parents were staunch fundamentalist Christians but I rebelled against them and everything they stood for. And they believed they could beat me into submission. I was a product of the 60s, a product of all the burgeoning selfishness and seeking of pleasure, of defying authority and being disrespectful.
Many years passed. And I lived my life. Thinking I had become “a good person” because I calmed down, got married, became responsible, and didn’t really do anything bad.
Then a little over 3 years ago I was lead to get a Bible and open it after having not holding or opening or reading a Bible in well over 20 years. And my life was changed in one night. And has never been the same.
Broad minded is not necessarily a good thing even though that is what the philosophy of men teaches and is considered by people to be a good trait. I used to be so broad minded I accepted anything of anyone at any time. that is the way of the world and he who is given reign of this world for a season. Even though it appears fine, pleasing, okay, and the right way.
There are only two possible paths for any person. No exceptions. No gray areas. Only two possible ways.
Each person either serves God or they serve Satan. There is no neutral zone, no gray area, no fence to walk, no Switzerland, no land which provides immunity or refuses extradition from facing the truth. And the truth is each person either serves the ways of this world and he who is given dominion over it for a season, the he who being the devil, or they serve the Lord our God living to please Him.
Those are the only possible choices.
We can create labels and create definitions. Say we live for ourselves. We live to serve our families, and so on, but when everything is stripped away and boiled down within our spirits, within our hearts, within our souls and minds we can only serve this world or serve God. Period.
Not according to me. According to the Word of God.
Ҧ Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat:
Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.
¶ Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.
Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles?
Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit.
A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.
Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire.
Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.
¶ Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.
Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?
And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.
¶ Therefore whosoever heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them, I will liken him unto a wise man, which built his house upon a rock:
And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell not: for it was founded upon a rock.
And every one that heareth these sayings of mine, and doeth them not, shall be likened unto a foolish man, which built his house upon the sand:
And the rain descended, and the floods came, and the winds blew, and beat upon that house; and it fell: and great was the fall of it.”
And it came to pass, when Jesus had ended these sayings, the people were astonished at his doctrine:
For he taught them as one having authority, and not as the scribes.
Part of Jesus Christ the Lord’s Sermon on the Mount ~ Matthew 7:13-29
I find it a better way to live this life on the narrow path leading to the straight gate. At least trying each day the best I can. Because I do know from experience, and from wisdom gained, the broad way does lead to nothing but destruction, and most people are on that broad path.
As for chronic pain and living with it and infirmities we can either succumb to them and permit them to become our life, or we can learn to live with them and come to terms, come to a certain kind of peace as to how our lives are forever irrevocably altered.
And living with pain and suffering is not necessarily a bad thing. At least for a Christian. Do not misunderstand this – I do not agree with nor support those who inflict pain and abuse on themselves under the lie they are somehow serving God. That is utter nonsense and downright insane.
But affliction, pain, getting dealt a bad hand? Suffering? We can either let it rule us and defeat us…or we can allow it to draw us closer to God and closer to His wisdom and understanding and use that pain, those infirmities and afflictions as a point of reference to improve our spiritual lives which are much more important and sure last a lot longer than any fleshly temporal life.
Ironically I am seeing an orthopedic surgeon on Wednesday regarding a possible knee replacement. I have zero cartilage in both knees and torn ligaments due to hyper-extending my knees due to all the back surgeries, nerve damage in my legs, and wearing a leg brace. Perhaps you could send me something as to what rehab from such an operation is like, at least in your experience. I have had 4 major back surgeries. 3 discs removed. Vertebrae fused. Extensive nerve damage in my right leg. Wear a brace on my lower right leg and foot since my foot does not work as it should. Nerve damage in both legs but the right is much worse than the left. Constant pain. Haven’t lived one second of my life in the past 14 years without pain. It does change a person. Literally. It changes a persons brain, it changes their literal bodies, it changes their perspective and life. It changes their relationships. People are different to you even if they don’t think they are. It certainly is not fun or enjoyable but we need to gain insight, wisdom, and understanding from these things and have them help us to become better people as a result. And God and our views on God can greatly help us in this. Not that my pain lessened in the past 3+ years since I have become renewed of mind and spirit and was born anew in Christ. The physical pain hasn’t gone away or even decreased. But my perspectives have changed. Making everything more tolerable through clearer understanding. Even when I want to wail and I can’t move and the pain is coursing through so many parts of my body rendering me immobile, or literally lowering me to the ground with tears coming from my eyes it hurts so much. I still understand things better now than I did 4, 5, 10 years ago regarding these afflictions and this constant gnawing pain.
I do hope you will continue to visit “A Crooked Path” from time to time. And if you come across something that you think warrants comment you’ll leave your comments from the heart on a post.
As you can see I permit most comments here and reply to almost all of them personally, openly, and honestly. The only way to be. And I thank you for dropping by and spending some of your precious time here. Please come again.
May God bless you and keep you and guide you. And may you in turn turn to Him in complete trust and faith making Jesus Christ not only your Saviour…but Lord of your life.
Sincerely,
Ken Pullen
Dear Ken
I am sorry about all your health issues. I hope you see a good Dr. Who can turn your life into a more plesant experience. I know of a Dr. Orr who is w the Cleveland Clinic he iwas recruited from Canada & is one of the top neurosurgeons in the country. Perhaps he can help you, I know back surgery is extremely difficult and tough to recover from. I can only speak of my personal experience w knee surgery. Going through it is hell but coming out of the recovery and working through it w physical therapy is extremely difficult but once you get through it, the fact you can walk & take steps without pain is miraculous, it’s the best way I can describe it. I had so much pain before Ihad my knee replacements done, I know what you mean by people treating you differently, it’s like the look at you pitifully
Sad that I was in the state of pain & couldn’t help me. Dr. Kim Sterns did my surgery, he is at Lutheran Medical center, I recommended him to several og my friends & they also have had great outcomes. I had a six month follow up yesterday, had my 16 month grandson Bennett with me, it was slushy out and I stepped into the CCF Stronsville medical office on the marble floors, before I knew it I fell & landed on my newly replaced left knee.! I was dazzedi just sat on the floor stunned, Bennett crying wondering what in the world I was doing! Several people came to help me the security guard got a wheelchair and wheeled me up to 3rd floor to dr. Sterns office explained what happened. Doc had me get X-rays
. Anyways I just bruised my bone nothing moved out of place, thank God. I am walking w the cane just because my knew wants to give out since I landed on it, I am applying ice I take Celebrex anyways. I don’t like taking percodan I had enough of those post operative. So I regressed in the recovery process a bit, but it will get better.
As far as spiritually. I never left The Lord, I left the church I grew up in because I felt they treated my ‘situation’ unjustly. I would never have been able to do what was required og me in life if I did not have Gods grace strength and understanding in my life. I was blessed to have met my husband and he has helped restore joy and faith in my life. We have had our trials to say the least, but we have come through stronger. THats the long .& short of it. We all stumble in life, we all make mistakes, that’s expected, we will never be perfect, we learn we grow…
If I can help you in any way let me know.
Peace always,
lLydia
Hello Lydia,
Thank you for your reply and your concern.
I do not think anyone enjoys living with infirmities and pain, and I would be very suspect of someone who said they did enjoy living with pain, or inflicted pain upon themselves, but living with chronic pain is interesting. It becomes a part of a person. And they either handle it well, or as well as they can, or they don’t.
Living with pain is the opposite of living ones normal life in many ways even though living with chronic pain can become ‘normal’ life. In life people use the terminology of peaks and valleys, with the peaks being the good parts, the highlights, and the valleys being the low parts. Living with chronic pain the peaks and valleys are just the opposite. When we have a valley it is more livable and a peak brings on at times what seems like more pain than we can bear.
I have been fortunate in having good physicians. I’ve been blessed in that, but that, too, needs us to use the brains the good Lord created us with and to not just nod in agreement or continue to go to a doctor which isn’t helping us, or is a downright hack. And there are plenty of those.
I had never had a major surgery until I had my first spinal surgery in 1999. And I am a person who has never been afraid to ask a question someone else might shy away from asking, or saying something a lot of people would never say. I wasn’t naïve or ignorant of the severity and potential for problems in cutting into a human body and conducting surgery for anywhere from 6 to 8 hours on their spine working around their spinal cord and major nerves conductors.
I hadn’t planned anything, but when I was ushered into the orthopedic surgeons office and he first appeared I said to him in a very calm but direct manner, “I want you to know I understand it takes a long time to go through medical school and internships and to get to the point where you are, and I am aware there are some incredible doctors in the world capable of doing great acts of healing, but I am not in awe of doctors. They just went to school for any number of reasons and are doing what they do for any number of reasons and in essence they are body mechanics. And fifty percent of you guys graduated in the bottom half of your class yet you still get to practice medicine on people in need of medical help. While there are good ones there is an equal amount of bad ones. I do not think of any of you as gods since the guy who finished last in his class gets to be a doctor just as the guy who graduated first.”
And while he was visibly taken aback by this he also had a wee bit of a smile on his face. And he told me in all his years of practicing medicine he had never had a patient say what I did to him but how he appreciated it and was glad I thought things through as well as I did, and not to worry he graduated first in his class, and then he provided me with his credentials. And we moved on from there and actually developed a very good relationship over the years – since he knows me better than most people in some ways since he’s actually cut into me and spent time inside my body working on my spine for a total of about 26 hours in 4 separate operations at this point.
And when I recently went to the orthopedic knee surgeon he turned out to be a good doc’ as well. And even though my knees no longer have a lick of cartilage in them at this point, and it is bone on bone in both knees as well as slight tears in some ligaments we’re going to be injecting more gelatinous material into each knee again rather than going with a knee replacement at this time. I had the first injections last Wednesday. I had this done about a year ago and they worked extremely well for almost a year.
At this point in life pain has become a part of me just as my eye color, or my height, or my name. My life without pain seems to me to have belonged to another person, as if I’m watching a movie of someone else’s life and not my own.
When the pain becomes too much – reaches one of those peaks – I am wise about it and seek proper care and help. I know to cease and desist in my normal daily activities and to tend to what ails me in order to try at least to lessen the pain, and if it persists to find someone who can help in lessening the pain.
And while it may appear odd to people, infirmities have made me stronger in and closer to the Lord our God. With greater love and appreciation. Greater depth of understanding.
And I know in my heart no matter what happens here? It is only temporary. And God will not forsake me or allow so much pain in my life is causes me to doubt, or turn from Him. He does not test us in such a manner. At least I do not believe so. He doesn’t play with us. We are not His game pieces. We are His children.
And even if the pain does increase over time in the remaining measure of my days in the flesh? I live in the hope of heaven where there is no pain. No tears. And I will have a new name, a new body, and eternal life in spirit and soul with the Lord.
It’s all good. No matter what happens.
May God bless you daily and keep you. Thank you for coming by “A Crooked Path.” Please come again.
Sincerely,
Ken
Ken
I did not assume you are not knowledgeable in seeking the proper medical practioner. I know you are not afraid to ask I questions and seek answers, that’s good.
I had synvisc injections prior to my knee replacements, they lasted six months with my first replacement and did not help at all w the second so that good they help you.
Take care. Be well.
Lydia