Dealing with Foolish People

written by Mary Whelchel
The Christian Working Woman

 

The Bible has a lot more to say about foolish behavior.
For example, they handle money recklessly, they quarrel frequently and pick fights, they tend to be lazy and lack focus and ambition. And sadly, they never seem to learn from past experience. Proverbs 27:22 says, “You cannot separate fools from their foolishness, even though you grind them like grain with mortar and pestle.”
With all the trouble they bring on themselves, fools still never seem to learn. No matter how bad the consequences of their behavior, they repeat the same things over and over.
The Bible also tells us about the consequences and effects of foolish behavior on other people. A foolish person brings trouble on his family (Proverbs 11:29), and parents of a foolish child are in for heartache.
Proverbs 10:1 says: A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son grief to his mother.
Also, a foolish person on the job can wreak havoc. Proverbs 26:10 says: Like an archer who wounds at random is he who hires a fool or any passer-by (Proverbs 26:10)
There’s no doubt that foolish people cause problems and present unique challenges for us. Whether we work with or for someone who behaves foolishly, or we have a family member or friend who fits that description, they can cause us many hours of pain and confusion and anger and frustration.
I want to urge you to think of the people in your life that demonstrate some of these foolish characteristics, perhaps write their names down, and then begin to pray for them.

Remember, no one is in your life by accident, and God has a purpose for allowing that person in your life. Your challenge is to see the big picture from God’s eyes and know how to respond in a godly way.

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Now the important issue we must consider is how are we supposed to respond to these foolish people? Our normal response is anger and frustration. But what does God want us to do. Let’s see what the Bible says.

How are we to respond to foolish behavior?

  1. First and most importantly, we pray for them. God is able to change anybody. Don’t ever give up. You can’t change them but you can pray for God to change them.
  2. Second, we must keep the right attitude and motivation toward these foolish people. It’s easy to become judgmental and arrogant toward them. Remember, God loves them as much as he loves you.
  3. Third, be prepared to set boundaries and protect yourself from being harmed by foolish people.
Here are some scriptures that give us further guidance on how God wants us to respond to the foolish people in our lives.
 Principle #1 – Don’t try to change them with advice.
Proverbs 23:9 (NLT): Don’t waste your breath on fools, for they will despise the wisest advice. You may present the most logical, clear, helpful presentation of the right thing they should do, but they will not
have ears to hear. If you keep trying to offer your advice, to persuade them with words, you will be continually frustrated.
Principle #2 – Don’t give them honor or luxury.
Proverbs 19:10 It is not fitting for a fool to live in luxury – how much worse for a slave to rule over princes!
Proverbs 26:1 Like snow in summer or rain in harvest, honor is not fitting for a fool.
Foolish people are easily spoiled and generally have no regard for taking care of possessions. They can ruin a car, a home, and clothes with no shame or concern. Giving them things will not solve their problems, though they want to get anything they can. They will ask for and expect gifts.
To give them undeserved honor of any kind is neither smart nor helpful. To give them places of honor is to invite trouble. They don’t know how to handle honor or responsibility.
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The Bible not only describes foolish behavior for us, but it also gives clear guidance on how we should respond to foolish people.
Here’s another principle for dealing with foolish people:
Principle #3 – Don’t argue with foolish people.
  2 Timothy 2:23-24 Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.
You will be tempted to argue with a foolish person. All your emotions will lead you in that direction. They bring out the worst in us, so you need to pray much for patience and self-control. If you allow them to drag you into an argument, they have brought you down to their level, and you will never win that argument. You will just end up in great frustration.
Principle #4 – Protect yourself from the resentment and anger caused by foolish people.
Proverbs 27:3 (NLT) A stone is heavy and sand is weighty, but the resentment caused by a fool is heavier than both.
In her book, Foolproofing Your Life, my friend, Jan Silvious gives good advice about setting boundaries for the foolish people in your life. She says think of living in a castle, with a moat around it and a drawbridge over that moat. When you see that foolish person coming at you, think of pulling up that drawbridge. It may be a mental drawbridge, or actually putting some space between you and him, but learn to set those boundaries.
Yes, you have responsibilities toward some foolish people. Yes, you must interact with some foolish people. Yes, you can’t avoid all foolish people. But it is your responsibility to protect yourself from their words, their actions, their accusations, and their behavior. As Jan puts it, if you have to feed them, use a long-handle spoon.
There is a lot we can learn from scripture on how to deal with foolish people.