On the links

Saturday, June 14th, 2025

ACP

Ken Pullen

To A Crooked Path

I don’t like golf. Well, now I probably lost a number of folks ever coming back here again. I don’t get golf. Hit a little white ball, get in a cart, go find the little white ball, hit it again, and again, and again, attempting to put it in a hole in the ground. I had an uncle who was a golf fanatic. He had two daughters and no son, so he took me to a driving range one time, when I was about 15 years old. Thinking he’d begin to teach me how to play. I was an athletic kid. I was coordinated. Very active. I hit a lot of balls, played with a lot of balls, and to this point, the only golf balls I ever hit were ones found, and I’d toss them into the air, swing my baseball bat, make contact, and watch that little ball disappear. I know my uncle imagined we’d go out hitting the links and he’d be proud to have taught me the game.

We went to a driving range.

I hit the ball off the tee, didn’t miss, I had/have good hand-eye coordination.

Well, I hit ball after ball, about 175 yards or so, and this was back in the mid-1960s when clubs and balls were not what they are now — good distance for a kid, I thought, but the elevation was only about 15 to 20 feet at its peak. And no matter what my uncle showed me, attempting to get me to elevate the ball, I kept smacking them little white things so that they went fairly far, but never very high. I was taken to the driving range only once. Golf was never mentioned to me again by my uncle.

I was very happy about that.

I don’t understand why we have all the golf links around the world.

Especially when the following links reveal much more important matters and ways to spend one’s time, rather than hitting a little white ball, again, and again, and again with the goal to put it in a hole in the ground. Why? Especially when there are so many other games, sports to play outdoors with a ball. People making business deals, betting, losing money, making money, cursing and cursing because of how they hit the little white balls, driving around in a cart, chasing another little white ball [because three of them were already lost by the time they get to the sixth hole], to eventually end up in the bar to get buzzed before going home to the wife and kids. Humm…perhaps a metaphor for many a life. Tragically.

These links are the ones to be on, as they are so much more important than hitting a little white ball, I believe, and they don’t cost a thing, you can’t lose them, and I hope they don’t invoke cursing, betting, or drinking to excess as a result of being on them:

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